The Invisible Sign Strikes Again.

I swear there was a time a few years back when I must have worn an invisible sign on my forehead saying something to the effect of, "If you're a transsexual, come up to me and be my best friend." There is not one but two tranny stories in my house of tales. You have to understand that I have to be very careful with the details on some of these ridiculous stories. I wouldn't want to exaggerate or be inaccurate about what really happened but, at the same time, some things are better left to the imagination. These years were not the most glorious times in my life.
On Santa Monica Blvd. there was this bar/venue that all of us creepos would hang out until the wee hours of the morning. This particular night was like all the rest. A drunken night at The Dragonfly with the boys, enjoying our youthful ways and looks..a typical Hollywood Night on the dark side I suppose. There was a lady across the bar totally shooting me looks. I wasn't even the one to notice, a friend pointed out the situation. "Dude, that hot ass chick is totally grillin' you!". I was like, "Where man? Where?". As soon as I looked, a drink popped up on the bar and the bartender (James "OC") said "This is from the woman at the end of the bar." So, after confirmation from everyone I was with that this broad was stupid hot, I did what any young single man would do. I went over to thank her for the drink. "Oh, would you like another?" She said with the normal cigarette smoke overtone voice that most Hollywood harlots had. So, needless to say, we had drink after drink after drink. Looking back now I really think I was drugged. Everything was SUPER hazy like in a room spinning kind of way. It really didn't matter though, I was in the moment. The club was packed with Hollywood vampires, a sleazy rock band was on the stage, the drinks were free and I was kickin' it with a pretty lady. I don't remember ever getting a name from her and if I did it was in one ear and out the other like any other time. I remember realizing how hammered I was and saying something like "I need to get the hell outta here". She said, "Cool, lets go". Not exactly what I had in mind but that's cool, I was just goin' with it.
She lived close by so we ended up at her apartment just drinking and talking. No big deal. Her friends started showing up and I noticed something similar about each one of them. THEY WERE DUDES!!! I've never been in "hanging out distance" to so many trannys in my life. I mean, we were all just sitting there in the living room talking like it was totally normal. It was like a tranny tea party but with alcohol instead. I could tell they were all feasting their gross testicle having eyes on me. Uncomfortable? Yes. I mean, these were grown ass men that could probably TOTALLY kick my ass! SO! With all that being said, I had to question myself. I went close to her ear and whispered, "Are all of your friends transsexuals?" I said it with a smile on my face like I didn't care or like it was no big deal. She turns to me and says with a very confused look on her face, "What? You mean you didn't know?"
It was like a mack truck smashing me in the face and I remember I kept the smile but I started blinking a lot. Like, out of control blinking. I didn't say anything back at all. I can only imagine the look on my face at that moment. SHE was a HE!!!!
The only thing I was thinking was "how the hell do I get out of here!?". I was sweating. There was no way to bow out gracefully. "Where is your bathroom?" I asked. "Back there" HE said. I stood up and stumbled out the front door and had spoiled their big plans for the night. Sorry DUDES. UUGGHH!!! I walked 2-3 miles home that night at record speed.